While most of my peers are getting married, accepting impressive promotions, buying houses, having kids, etc., I am focusing my energy right now on reconnecting with my high school sport. That’s right, folks. She’s picked up her racquet, she’s back in her flirty skorts, and she’s making her big return the court.
I joined a tennis league here in LA about a month ago, and have been tirelessly trying to avoid making it my entire personality, but then the Challengers movie came out, and I had no choice but to do exactly that.
And yes, I did return to the theatre for a second viewing of the movie, strictly for research purposes, of course.
I know that professing my love for this movie is not original nor interesting, but it’s worth sharing that that was probably the most fun I have had in a movie theatre in a long time, and not just because I am in the thick of a tennis resurgence. My whole body was pulsing from the moment the first track starting playing, and I left the theatre annoyed that they don’t make more movies like this. I am not and will never be interested in seeing Dune. Not going to apologize for this!
I once again mourn that we live in a society that only rewards people with gift registries if they are either getting married or expecting a baby, because I could really use one at Dick’s Sporting Goods right about now. Here are the products that are helping me come out of my retirement stronger and hotter than ever.
Adidas Avacourt 2 Tennis Shoes
My old tennis sneakers were from high school, so I was due for an upgrade. Because I have made a personal commitment to only purchasing items with color schemes that look like they were loosely inspired by sherbet, I had no option but to pick these shoes.
It’s not looking like I’ll be qualifying for Wimbledon anytime soon,* so I’m in the clear. They are so comfy and once my legs get a little tanner, I am going to be the hottest person on the court.
Strawberry Shock Absorber
I am a simple woman. I see a strawberry shock absorber. I order a strawberry shock absorber. I put a strawberry shock absorber on my racquet. I gawk at my strawberry shock absorber’s cuteness between every point. My opponents see my strawberry shock absorber and wonder, “is she…a chef?”
Beyond Yoga Spacedye Movement Skirt
Beyond Yoga has the best fabric. It is soooo smooth and comfy. This skirt has admittedly been collecting dust in my closet for months and now it’s at the top of my rotation. I love giving neglected items in my wardrobe a new lease on life.
Once again, my strategy of buying only sherbet-adjacent items proves successful. This skirt looks disgustingly cute with my new sneakers. This color is on sale now (sizes seem to be limited), so I might go ahead and order another color while I can.
*This is niche tennis humor, so for those who are uninitiated, I want to clarify that Wimbledon is a grand slam tennis tournament that requires competitors to wear all white. These shoes are not all white and thus, would not be allowed.
Strawberry Shortcake Crumble Parfait Cups
Makes: 4 parfaits
Active time: 20 minutes
Total time: 20 minutes
My first thought for this week’s newsletter was to do a churro recipe inspired by the Challengers and Josh O’Connor’s dedication to speaking to all of his co-stars at a distance of 4 inches or fewer. Then I realized that I don’t have an extruder, I’d rather count the hairs on my head than make choux pastry, and nobody needs a churro recipe from a sexually frustrated white girl, anyway, right?
Instead of gathering inspiration from the movie that has filled every thought I’ve had in the last week, I decided to develop a recipe inspired my most nostalgic summer treat, the Good Humor strawberry shortcake bars. I’ve been ruminating on a version of these that requires no overnight freezing component. Instead, I was mainly focused on re-making that irresistible strawberry crumble coating, and enjoying it in parfait form.
If you were once a kid that ate these bars, then you should now be an adult who serves these parfaits at your next dinner party gathering.
For the crumble, I crushed up some good ol’ Lorna Doone shortbread cookies and freeze dried strawberries, then tossed them with a little melted butter and sugar. Then, I whipped up some cream and macerated some strawberries for the second and third layers of the parfait.
This is the low-lift, yet highly impressive and DELICIOUS, summer dinner party moment. No need to turn on the oven, and you can prepare everything hours in advance, then assemble them in front of your awe-struck guests when it’s time.
Strawberry season is upon us, and I’m not just talking about my shock absorber.
1 pint strawberries, rinsed, hulled and thinly sliced
1 lemon, zested and juiced
⅔ cup sugar plus 1 tablespoon, divided
Kosher salt, to taste
6 (1 ounce) packs Lorna Doone shortbread cookies
1 ½ ounces freeze dried strawberries (about 1 cup)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 ½ cups heavy cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
In a medium bowl, mix strawberries with lemon zest, lemon juice, ⅓ cup sugar (you may need to use more or less, depending on the sweetness of the berries), and a pinch of salt. Let macerate on the counter until berries soften and become syrupy, at least 30 minutes or up to 2 hours.
In a zip top bag, add shortbread cookies and freeze dried strawberries. Seal bag tightly and use a rolling pin to crush the cookies and strawberries, keeping some pieces coarser (the size of a pea) and crushing some up to finer pieces (like dust) for a varying texture. Pour the mixture in a medium bowl and mix with melted butter, 1 tablespoon sugar and a big pinch of salt Add a spoonful or two of the syrup from the macerated strawberries.. The mixture should resemble wet sand. Set aside.
In a medium bowl, add cream, remaining ⅓ cup sugar, vanilla extract, and a pinch of salt. Use a whisk or hand mixer to whip to medium soft peaks.
In four glasses, add a couple tablespoons of shortbread crumble to each. Top each with a layer of whipped cream, then a big spoonful of the macerated strawberries and their juice. Repeat with another layer of crumble, then cream, then finish with a garnish of more crumble. Serve immediately.
Never be ashamed of all your tennis porn. I discovered the sport at 59 and consider every game a party. So much fun!
Hilarious 👏👏👏👏